Monday, September 27, 2010

When He Speaks...

I don't know how YHVH speaks to others. I only know that He speaks to me very clearly either by giving me particular passages of scripture to read (leading me to them, usually using blogs or other media) or by simply inspiring me and causing me to think of something that answers a recent prayer. This has been happening more and more often lately. I am incredibly grateful to Yah for giving me the opportunity to improve myself and my devotion to Him. This walk has been difficult at times, and I think that if it weren't for His voice there may have been times I would simply have given up and chosen an easier path, such as the one I was one before I really discovered Yeshua.

I want to tell you today about the way in which He spoke to me. It was incredibly significant, but I didn't recognize it until only a moment ago, when I was attempting to write an entirely different blog post. 

It began today while I was watching TV and working on knitting a gift for my father. I was watching a television show on TLC and the husband mentioned that his wife was always happy and smiling, no matter what the circumstances. He went on to say that they always had fun together. It occurred to me that although I don't typically watch this show, in this case (at least) she seemed to be a genuinely and constantly happy woman. This clearly pleased her husband, who was happy not only with her, but with the time that they spent together. 

Even had it not occurred to me that my husband and I have not been enjoying our "together time" as much as we could, it would have struck me that I don't smile very much these days. I could try to blame the lack of smiles on overall stress or on the fact that the autumn weather has begun the process of making me depressed (because I need to start taking artificial vitamins or drinking more milk, which I have been craving). This would, however, be displaced blame. The source of my unhappiness is me. It would be dishonest of me to claim that something other than my own attitude and behavior was making me unhappy. Recognizing this, I immediately sent up a prayer to Yah, asking Him to help me to smile more often. I asked Him to give me reasons to smile and to help me to smile even when I didn't feel like smiling. I then went on to spend the rest of the knitting period observing within myself just how much I enjoy knitting. And yes, I did smile. 

But YHVH wasn't finished with me quite yet. Just when I was satisfied that I understood His intentions, He reminded me of a book that I have read off and on over the past year: The Prayer that Changes Everything by Stormie Omartian. For those who have never read (or heard of) the book, the emphasis is on the power of praising YHVH for everything that He is and everything that He has done for us. There is no end to the praise that we can bring to our Father, and the author gives personal anecdotal evidence for the power of praise to work in our lives in order to help us to realize our greatest dreams. She particularly shows us how powerful praise is when we are in a particularly dark time in our lives, because it can help us to see the power of YHVH and to walk more closely with Him. 

I've tried this before, and become frustrated. The reason is usually because during these periods of praise, the attack is strong. I may run into blogs or websites that discourage Messianic believers (particularly Messianic Jews) and lump all of us in with "The Sacred Name People" or who teach dogma that isn't in the scriptures. I become confused and befuddled and suddenly HaShem stops making sense to me. I forget, during those periods of time, that our G-d is not the author of confusion: He is quite clear, and I believe that by reading the scriptures we can find Him and His clear desire for us as His people. I see no contradiction, and yet these people and websites teach things that are contrary to the scriptures as I understand them. In truth, I have now learned that it is best to avoid them entirely. 

I'm giving this another try, and I am determined to see it through to thirty days of praise, without supplication (except for others). I am looking for YHVH to work a real miracle in my life: to show me the path to becoming a happier, more settled and observant Messianic Gentile. I love Him too much to feel comfortable with letting Him down. It is my time now, and I plan on seeing it through.


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